Gambling is a sin!

As you may well know, gambing is a sin. As you also may know there is a substantial amount of gambling in Las Vegas. In addition to blackjack, roulette, poker, and go fish tables there are slot machines everywhere across the city. They are in the airport, in convenience stores, in the elevators, attached to showgirls' costumes (so we are told), and even in the bathrooms. The last fact is simultaneously disturbing and makes flushing easier.

So what are a couple righteous dudes like us to do? We have taken it upon ourselves to educate others on the sin of gambling by telling everyone we know (which now includes you, faithful reader) the following facts about gambling:

• You lose money
• It is impossible to pray while sitting at poker table
• Repetitive slot machine usage causes rotator cuff injuries
• There is a proliferation of profanity when hanging around "craps" tables
• Prolonged dice throwing causes unsightly acne on the face
• Gambers are rewarded with free alcohol, another vice to avoid
• Every hour spent looking at a slot machine takes away a year of your life span
• Playing roulette makes you less attractive to the opposite sex
• Money won cannot be spent in the United States
• God knows when you gamble

With all of this scientifically proven data it is easy to see how important it is that we be shining examples to those around us and not throw our money away in the casinos while in Vegas. Don't gamble with your immortal soul, folks!

That said, we're happily willing to gamble your money for you. Sometimes the best way for folks to learn is to fail. That's not to say you'll lose your money. Earlier this year Jason played the slots for a friend and gave her back five times the amount she gave him. So if you want to press your luck, give Jay or Jason some cash before Monday and we'll play the odds for you.

Good luck!